A Story of Love and Loss Allan DeSmith

They say that there are no random acts only a path that we are meant to be on; I was never a donor on my license until I lived through my life now.

Allan was a good soul always tried to help others and I don’t know why this man loved me so much but for some reason we were chosen to be. I now see this as one random act put us together by working at the same location, at that point it was rocky on and off, by no means a perfect relationship I even left the state. Now I believe that God just kept crossing our paths and it is unfortunate that we did not listen, as Allan said we could of had more time together. I know now never wait to say what is in your heart because it may be too late.

We did marry and thought we would grow old together as we always held hands where ever we went and were rarely ever apart. I kept all the notes he wrote to me in and out of the hospitals visits.  Allan getting sick was never part of the plan and I realize you just never know. Allan went through stents, four bypasses, two failed, a mechanical heart and ultimately a heart transplant all in all the chest was cracked open seven times. In the early hours of Oct 9, 2000, we got a call that a heart came in for him, there is never a true guarantee but at the same time a huge loss was the parents of their son who was brain dead. I never knew their name just that they were in San Diego, they saved so many lives with the donations of life from their son. I hope now that my husband met him in heaven and they are so much more than friends. Many blessing to these wonderful parents who endured a huge heartache and one that I now know.

In all of this Allan had ten more years granted he had other medical problems and put up a good fight but in the end he gave in to the severe issues that were upon him, not that he wanted to leave but he was just too tired. We were thankful for the time we had and I only wish it was more. I knew we would never grow old together but we always had each others back every time.

Allan died March 6, 2011 my beautiful soulmate who told me on his death bed that he knew from the beginning that I was always going to be his wife. In our marriage, we had just become as one and in the end I knew and followed his wishes. You see you can be both a recipient and a donor and in the end we donated, skin, cornea, and whatever else we could. All I can hope for is that he has helped many more because he wanted to give back. I guess pass it forward. My love and soulmate that I miss with all my heart and soul but we will be together again.

I am also now a donor because of what my life turned out to be. I don’t know what my purpose in all this is now because I lost the most important half of me, he is in heaven waiting, I do want others to know how important donation is especially to be there to spend what precious little time you have on this earth because tomorrow is promised to nobody.

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