Diane Linares
Donor Mom, Downey
Events: In Honor of Brian Ellis
Photo: Donor mom Diane Linares and her son, Brian Christian Ellis, organ donor.
We each have the power to touch the heart of someone else. My son, Brian Ellis, did both during his life and after his passing, when he became an organ donor and gave the gift of life to six strangers.
Brian was born premature and with severe “hydrocephalus” (a condition known as “water on the brain”). I was told he would probably never walk, talk or even learn to roll over. He was also born without a gag reflex or an infant sucking motion and had to be fed by a tube down his throat. The doctors said he didn’t feel any pain and advised me to not have a shunt placed in his brain (which would relieve the fluid building up) and to just let him go.
But, I felt Brian deserved a chance at life and if GOD wanted him, He would take him no matter which decision I made. So at two-weeks old, a shunt was placed in Brian’s brain, giving him that chance at life. What kind of life I was submitting him to could only be discovered as time went on, but I was determined to do the best I was capable of, even if I only succeeded in making him happy, keeping him safe and letting him know how much he was loved.
Brian never grew mentally past the age of a young child. He could not read, did not understand time, money, or personal space and needed help with all his personal needs. He struggled each day to do the simplest things we all take for granted, and he suffered from grand mal seizures.
But Brian was a beautiful gift. He taught us all the art of kindness, forgiveness and how to love unconditionally. He had big, sparkling brown eyes, an infectious laugh and a beautiful smile that rarely left his face. He cared about the feelings of others. He was the first to greet a person when they entered a room and the last to say goodbye when they left. Brian never judged a person on what they could offer him, but freely offered all that he had to everyone he met. When you met Brian, you felt lucky to have known him. People who met him would often say to me, “he touched my heart.”
One week after his 31st birthday, Brian’s shunt stopped working and needed to be replaced. At first, the surgery was a success, but one week later, an infection developed and a second surgery was needed. This time recovery was not good. Within a few hours after being transferred to the ICU, Brian stopped breathing and was placed on a respirator; 48 hours later he was declared brain dead.
I once again found myself faced with the decision to give someone a chance at life. Not my Brian, God took that decision away from me this time, but possibly 8 people. So to honor his life and the beautiful spirit he possessed, we chose to donate his organs. He saved the lives of six strangers ranging in age from 12 to 65. His pancreas was donated to research. His purpose for living against all odds, continued even in death.
Within the year, we received a letter from the 18-year-old young man who received his right kidney. He told us, “since I received his kidney I am feeling much better and I am very happy and appreciative for this chance of a better, healthier life.” He had been born with kidney disease and had been on the transplant list for a while, he had worried he would not receive a kidney in time. Brian’s was his third try for a successful transplant.
We have since met this young man, who is now 25 years old, and his family. They continually express to us their gratitude for Brian’s life-saving organ, but that is not necessary. We are happy knowing that Brian’s gift has given him one less struggle to worry about.
I am now a Donate Life/OneLegacy Ambassador to honor my son’s life and be a part of something he is now a part of; to share his story and talk about how our decision to donate his organs has forever changed our lives; and has given this mother a purpose I could never have imagined.
This will be our first time at the Donate Life Transplant Games of America. I am looking forward to meeting other recipients and hearing their stories. I hope to speak at the open mic session, because I understand how recipients sometimes feel so guilty to be here when they know a loved one died for them to have life. I want to show them that donor families grieve and we are at times very angry that we lost our loved one, but we are never angry at recipients. We know our loved ones gave the greatest of gifts and we are proud of them, even as we miss them every single day.
I know Brian will be with us at the Games, smiling that big, beautiful smile of his and cheering on the recipients. I know Brian did not die in vain. So many thought he would not achieve much in life. I think he achieved more than most of us ever will. He lived a life full of joy and generosity and left a legacy that will live on forever. We are so very proud of him and I am honored to have this opportunity to share his story.
“There are some who bring a light so GREAT to the world, that even after they are gone, the light remains.” ~ Anonymous
This was and is my Brian. God bless and enjoy life.
